Australian Ninja Warrior might be the new kid on the block stealing ratings left, right and centre. But for most of us true television tragics, there is (and could only ever be) one show that will be our forever love – Masterchef Australia.
So over lunch the other day, we threw around a few names from the hit show, comparing them to the gear we’re right into at the moment. It’s stupid, and the obvious question is why? But hey, you’re here, so maybe we’re not too crazy.
What would they be? …
Diana Chan = The Window Sox
Victorian accountant, Diana Chan, is as reliable and straight-laced with her pots and pans as a Texas Instruments calculator (games loaded = nil … aaaahhhh, remember snake?). You get the impression she’s all about the business. Fun, no. Word hard, yes.
(Bless the Malaysian education system).
She’s not about to accept second place during some lacksey-daisy display of home cooking. That’s why Chan is our Window Sox. It’s the product you know back seat drivers and kiddies across the country need. It fits. It’s functional. But they say, “I want to see out the window, Daddy”. No. This is for your good.
Arum Nixon = The First Aid Kit
Talk about under the radar. UK born advertising strategist, Arum Nixon (yes, Arum?!) is pretty content at the moment. He’s been able to make it deep into the competition by tweaking the dishes we already love – seriously, who doesn’t love a cheeky chip or apple crumble? Yum.
But what’s most notable about Nixon isn’t the fact he is a one-time Ballet Dancer. No. It’s the fact this bloke won his spot in the competition after an initial rejection by Judges. Under the heat of a hotly contested second chance kitchen, competing to receive an apron, Nixon showed grit unfamiliar to the Nixon name and faced his accusers. Yes, he copped an early blow to the confidence but came back brighter than a firecracker (see what I did there?).
This all points to Nixon being a First Aid Kit. He took a big hit early. But to his credit, he’s recovered and now fighting (quietly) for his spot.
Update 12/06/2017: just when you think you know a guy he goes ahead and makes it to finals week. Mind. Blown. Congrats, little first aid kit. We wish you injury free passage to the Masterchef title.
Ben Ungermann = The BedRug
Some diehard Masterchef fans say Ungermann is yet to really hit his strides. That he prefers to listen, learn, and replicate, rather than push himself to be a contender alongside the Sarah’s and Karlie’s of this world. But we don’t listen to the haters … they’re only jealous of his Prince Charming (Shrek) like square jaw.
For us, big rig and ex-retail manager, Ungermann, is, without question a BedRug. You can throw dirt on his unnaturally large tray and he’ll brush it off. You can heap lengthy menus on his back and he’ll pull it off. You can give him marshmallow dishes, and, well, he’ll mangle it up. BUT! The important thing is that he’s on the road to glory and will somehow come out on top. Somehow.
Eliza Wilson = The Phone Holder
Every now and then you get a consummate team performer. An Easton Wood (Western Bulldogs, Australian Rules Football) type character that lifts the team without soaring to stardom, a.k.a immunity pin status, for some magical deed. Theatre Nurse, Eliza Wilson, could be just that. Under her watch and input, 7 from 8 team challenges have been won. And in the most recent, they didn’t exactly lose but came second from a possible three places. Does she know how to rally a group much? Survey says: yes.
In the fictional world of product associations, Wilson could be none other than a Phone Holder. Why? Simple. They bring everything together, safely. Your maps, music, friends are now within easy reach and your eyes are fixed on the road ahead.
Sarah Tiong = The Bumper Protector
The flavour queen of amateur cooks/risk consultants, Sarah Tiong is anything but a risky bet if you’re looking for a 2017 winner. She knows her combinations. This goes with that. Just ask Ben Devlin, he’ll confirm it…
Seriously though, she’s taken out the gold immunity pin for her smashing pork belly rendition, puts her heart on her sleeve (just a few tears) and stays true to her story. And we all know Masterchef would be nothing if not for a heart string story or two.
As far as accessories go, Tiong could be none other than a Bumper Protector. Why? Just like her, the Bumper Protector is the perfect pairing for just about any vehicle. Add it with this. Add it to that. It’s the gold pin for your car that’s a guaranteed winner. Get on it.
Karlie Verkerk = Prestige Carpet Mats
Verkerk is an Asian inspired cook with a bunch of talents in the creative media space. She also presents as a serious contender for the Masterchef Australia crown. And all this despite her preferring to critique others food than be a chef in a kitchen.
Regardless of the competition outcome and path she takes, you’d think a prosperous future is in the wings. She’ll earn some serious dough. Her stocks to rise. Her spicy reviews and recipes will… yep. I’ll stop.
For everything she brings to the competition, we think Verkerk has to be a ‘prestige’ carpet mat. Not because she’ll get trodden on. No. It’s because Prestige is as good as it gets. It will last longer and impress even the harshest critic.
Tamara Graffen = Dash Mat
Finally, we have the super bright (probably overachieving) and ultra nice gal, Tamara Graffen. She’s another contender for the crown.
Her Pre-School teacher smile might make you think she’d rock out Farnham’s Take The Pressure Down when things got hot. But her performance says she’s up for a fight; winning her way back into the competition after being knocked out.
For this grit, Graffen has earnt a special place in our hearts as a Dash Mat. Why? Because the humble dashboard cover absorbs all the heat and UV the sun can dish out and serves you blissful road vision and sun-kissed memories.
That only leaves the judges: Matt Preston, George Calombaris, and Gary Mehigan. What could they be? Who knows (and maybe, who cares?). What we do know though is that Sarah is going to take out 2017. It’s obvious. Think different? Tell us why below.
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